Stepping Into Chaos and Beauty

At some point, in the middle of everything going on in my life, I felt like I was living in a hamster wheel.

And I realized… I didn’t just need a break.

I needed something completely different.

Something outside the usual path.

Something outside my comfort zone;

Not planned.
Not optimized.
Not researched to death.

And for once…

I wanted to disconnect;
Minimal phone.
Minimal internet.
No constant news, no notifications.

Just… space.

Stepping Out of the “Hamster Wheel”

At that time, I was dealing with a lot.

Divorce, legal processes, tenant issues… constant stress.

And I started thinking…

Maybe I need something spiritual.

So I considered places like Tibet… even Mecca.

Not because I’m religious, I’m not. But I was curious;
What happens when thousands of people are focused on something deeper?

But I had two problems:
First, I didn’t know how I would integrate into those environments.
How would I follow rituals I don’t understand?
Second, I didn’t want religious labels.
I didn’t want to come back and people say: “You went there, so now you are this.”

Then one day, I was looking at my wish list…
and I thought:

What if I combine that desire for a spiritual experience…
with something structured?

Yoga teacher training.

And I thought… why not do it with my girlfriend?

Worst case… we don’t survive the month.
Best case… we come out stronger.

And that’s how I ended up spending a month in Rishikesh, India.

The Experience: Comfort Zone Broken

The journey started with a surprise.

We landed in New Delhi…

And immediately, something felt familiar.

The haze.
The heaviness in the air.
The noise.
The chaos.

The city was alive at 1 a.m.

And strangely… it reminded me of Tehran.

That same intensity.
That same overwhelming energy.

And very quickly, we realized:

We are completely out of our comfort zone.

Then we arrived at the yoga school.

And honestly… it was better than expected.

But still, very different.

We were eating on the floor.
Sitting on the floor for classes.

Something I had rarely done before.

And the schedule…

I had seen it before going…
but I didn’t really pay attention.

I thought it would mostly be physical yoga.

It wasn’t.

We had philosophy classes.
Meditation classes.
Mantra chanting.
Breathwork and cleansing practices.

We talked about karma, ego, samadhi…
Shiva, Vishnu, Krishna…

Things that were completely new to me.

And that’s when I realized…

Yoga is not just movement.

Asana is only one part.

Then there was the discipline.

Sleeping at 10:30…
Waking up at 6…
Class at 6:30… and you have to be there early.

For someone like me, a night person…

That was not easy.

But slowly… you adapt.

And then there was Rishikesh itself.

You can describe it as chaos.

Busy streets. Noise. Movement everywhere.

But inside that chaos…

There is something else.

Dogs lying in the middle of the road… completely relaxed.

Cows walking freely… calves drinking milk in the middle of traffic.

Monkeys everywhere… ready to steal your banana if you look away for two seconds.

And somehow…

Everything flows.

There is trust.

Animals trust humans.
People move with awareness.

And beyond that…

The human interactions.

You walk into a store… you take off your shoes…

And suddenly, you’re not a customer anymore.

You’re treated like a guest.
Like a friend.
Sometimes like family.

There’s bargaining… but also conversation… connection.

At some point, we were taking photos with shopkeepers…

Because we wanted to remember those moments.

And that’s when it really hit me:

You can focus on the chaos…

Or you can choose to see the beauty inside it.

Back to Reality

After the training, we traveled to Jaipur, Agra, and Delhi.

The Golden Triangle.

Beautiful experience… a bit fast-paced for where our minds were…
but still, very memorable.

We were just about to enter the Taj Mahal…

when my girlfriend said:

“Israel and the U.S. attacked Iran.”

For us, as Iranians…

that was actually something we had been hoping for.

So it was… unexpected, but exciting news.

We went in, experienced the Taj Mahal…

And when we came out, she said:

“They killed Khamenei.”

And jokingly added,
“Apparently my prayers by the Ganges worked.”

And it felt surreal.

Because we were still in that disconnected state…

and suddenly the world rushed back in. Positively, but rushed!

Then we returned to Canada.

Jet lag.
Routine.
Work.
Responsibilities.

And it felt like…

That whole experience was a dream.

A very vivid, beautiful dream.

But something stayed.

We try to keep parts of it alive.

Through small things.

Those Musics, Mantras
Those Practices.
Maybe Organizing or Participating in Workshops, Movement sessions.
Sharing what we experienced.

And one thought stayed with me:

We often think people here might live longer…

But maybe… they live wider.

More interaction.
More intensity.
More human connection.

More life… in each day.

So...

So for me…

Rishikesh feels like a dream I had.

A beautiful one.

A reminder that I can step out of that hamster wheel…
even if only for a while.

And honestly…

It was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.

Not because it wasn’t chaotic.

But because it was.

And somehow…
it changed something in me.

And I hope that change stays.

And if there’s one thing I want to leave you with, it’s this:

If you feel something inside you…

A voice… telling you to try something different…

Don’t postpone it.

We only get one life.
At least in this body, in this moment… one chance.

And sometimes…

What your mind, your body, your soul needs…

Is not more structure.

It’s something unknown.

So maybe…

Step into a little chaos.

And you might just find something beautiful there :)